Original Artwork: Amelia “Learning to Fly”
“Insecure people cannot serve in the kingdom of God”. Rick Warren said that. I read it years ago in the Purpose Driven Life , and it always stuck with me. Probably because I have been riddled with insecurities. And I have tried to serve – a lot, everywhere, even places where God did not ask me to serve. My insecurities often propelled me to action, only to discover I had made a false move…again.
I am always surprised by others surprise in learning that I, too, wrestle with insecurity. People seem to have the idea I am strong, unafraid, and confident in everything I do. This is funny to me. I must be good at hiding my fear. I got this reaction recently, when I shared my uneasiness about changes I am undergoing in worship ministry.
I have served in worship for ten years. It has been a long process to get over the nerves of being in front of others, and doing something vulnerable, like singing from the depths of your soul. Most people don’t know what it was like for me in the beginning. I used to write Scriptures on my song sheets, even on the palm of my hand. I often pictured Jesus standing before me as I sang. I sometimes imagined His hands upon my shoulders, pushing the nerves down, through the floor. This visualization has been powerful and effective. But still, it has taken years for me to say I feel comfortable, or “at home”, up front. And then God changes it, again. I am starting to think He prefers insecure people because we are the only ones desperate enough to depend on Him in our perceived weaknesses.
All of my experience in worship has been tied to one place. Now, God is asking me to step out of my comfort zone again. So, here I go…out to serve, insecurities and all. But I have learned a few things in my years of straining forward. I have learned if we don’t step out where God is leading, we won’t go at all. Anywhere, ever. And we won’t grow. God has used my fear to grow my faith. I’ve had to pray through my insecurities and rely upon Him to equip me. And you know what, He has! His grace covers my lack….every time. Not that my service has been impeccable. No, I have served imperfectly, and made mistakes. But you know what? I survived them. God has given me grace to get back up and try again after failure. To rise up, beyond the fear of judgment or humiliation, and take to heart His Word that my service to Him is never in vain. God gives grace to the humble. He is able to make all grace abound to us in every good work. And His grace has always been enough for me.
I now believe insecure people are the only people who ever really serve in the Kingdom of God. Why? Because we all have insecurities. And faith, by nature, is risk. Faith steps out, into your fears, and proves God is everything He says He is. He gives strength to the weak, and give us wings to soar like eagles, when we believe we are only lame ducks. I am grateful for my years of flying lessons in worship. As I prepare to take off again to destination unknown, I rest in remembering the beautiful heights I have been to with the Lord. These breathtaking moments in the air with Him are worth the pain of trial and error, and even a few crash landings.
Where is God calling you to serve? Are you afraid to take a step?
Do it anyway, even afraid.
Don’t wait until you feel stronger or more prepared. Face your fear, and then purposefully push past it to reach for God. There is no fear in making a wrong move. God is perfectly able to communicate that to you too. Trust me, I know this firsthand. I am the queen of impulsive moves. A false start is better than no start at all. God will always correct your course.
We were made to fly in faith, not be grounded by our fears. “And whatever you do, whether in word and deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17). Thank God for your insecurities; they are a launching point, not a stumbling block.